The Discovery of Broccoli
by CrazyApplesandOranges
Summary: Harry has found the cure for cancer! Or has he? We may never know if Snape keeps shooting down his ideas faster than Harry can try them...


Harry was walking to Hagrid's when he discovered it.

He stopped and stared at the mini green tree, eyes wide. He crouched, extending his index finger carefully. He poked it.

When it didn't explode, he picked it up, shouting happily. "I have done it! I have finally discovered the cure!"

He pocketed the strange green thing, sprinting towards the dungeons. He burst through the door, waving his hands in the air.

"Professor! Professor!" he shouted. Snape glared at him from his desk.

"Potter, you are twenty minutes late," he drawled. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor."

"Wait, Professor!" Harry exclaimed. "I have a good reason! I have discovered the cure!"

"Harry," Hermione said gently. She patted the seat next to her. "Harry, come sit down."

"No, Hermione! I have discovered it!"

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about, Potter?" Snape said.

"I have discovered the cure for cancer," Harry announced. He pulled the mini tree from his pocket. "See?"

"Harry," Hermione said. "That's broccoli. It's already been discovered, and it's not the cure for cancer."

"You don't understand, Hermione!" Harry said. "This is wizarding broccoli. You wouldn't know that, being raised by Muggles and all."

"Harry, you were raised by Muggles," Hermione said, tilting her head to the side.

"It's not the same!"Harry shouted.

"Potter," Snape said. He pointed to Harry's seat next to Hermione. "Sit _down_."

"Professor, I can't!" Harry said, his free hand clutching his chest. "I would let down all the people fighting for their lives if I don't make the potion as fast as I can."

"Potter, sit down right now or you will be serving detention."

"Fine. But before I sit down," Harry said. "Can I have the Juggling Jumpers?"

"What are you babbling about, Potter?" Snape snapped. "There is no such thing as Juggling Jumpers!"

"Yes there is! I just used them yesterday!"

"No there isn't! And you did not discover anything!"

"Professor," Harry said slowly. "I have discovered the cure. And whether you like it or not, I am taking your Juggling Jumpers."

"I will not tolerate this kind of behavior in my classroom, Potter," Snape snarled. "Sit down _right now_."

"Will you believe me?"

"No."

"Then I won't sit down."

"POTTER!"

/\/\

Minerva sighed as she stared at Harry from across her desk.

"How do you do it, Potter?" she wondered.

"Well," he started. "First I was walking to Hagrid, because he's my friend and I haven't seen him in a while, and I saw a little green tree. I knew immediately that I had found it. The cure for cancer."

"Potter, that doesn't make any sense. Broccoli is not the cure for cancer."

"Minerva," Snape said. He glared at Harry. "Please give him detention for the rest of his life. Please."

"Severus," Minerva sighed. "You know I can't do that."

Snape scowled at the wall behind Harry. Harry smiled.

"Professor Snape, when are you going to help me with my cure?" he asked. "I'll give you credit. Not all of it, of course, I discovered it, but you can have some."

"Potter, you discovered nothing!"

Harry chose not to answer that. "Actually," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe Hagrid should have some credit…after all I was going to see him. It's because of him I saw it."

"Potter," Minerva said. "You will have detention for the rest of the month with Professor Sprout. Stop spouting nonsense and focus on your studies."

Harry shrugged and picked up his 'discovery' off the desk. "Fine, professor, but when you get cancer and don't have the cure, just remember that I could have saved many lives. Including yours."

He left the office and Minerva dropped her head into her hands. "That boy is going to be the death of me," she muttered. She heard Snape leave the room with his usual bat-like quiet. She looked up and stared at the wall, wondering if she should retire now and save her mind, or stay and risk her sanity…

A/N: I've actually had this idea for a long time, and just now wrote it. I honestly don't know where it came from. I can just imagine this so easily, though, and it was fun to write. And, yes, it is one of my shorter pieces, I got lazy. I still had fun. Review?


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